Sexual Impurity

Rationalize, it's good for our marriage

Wags of Sports Stars

Saturday

Schedule  8 - 9:30
8 - 8:05       Intro prayer
8:05 - 8:15  Pre-Gospel moment
8:15 - 8:30  My story
8:30 - 9:05  Discussion
9:05 - 9:30  Gospel moment/End Prayer


My testimony -

Caveat - this my story, not anyone else, this is a very
sensitive subject and I surely don't want to make anyone
unnecessarily uncomfortable.  But this subject is near and
dear to my heart that it needs to be brought up.

 - I was introduced to p at a young age around 12-13 years old
   where a group of my friends would visit a antique store but had
   German magazines that had nudity.
- That was a building block for my descent into darkness.
   I remember in high school going driving to the next town and buying magazines
    (I wouldn't buy them in town, so that I would not be seen)
- Fast forward to 2003
         I was married, 3 kids, very involved in church (Children's ministry, Men's ministry, Worship
         team)
        - aside (who are you? I was in this filth yet teach kids about Jesus)
        - My private fantasy life was so overwhelming that for years of my marriage and my wife was                very oppressed and I made her life miserable.
          Most Important - Depression, Hopelessness, Filth, Low self-worth. Self-loathing.
        - So What Happened - My Wife Left me and moved out - about two months)
        - I was so devastated.  The most painful thing I have seen in my life was my wife's closet
           where every thing was gone.  Not even a single piece of dirt was there.  She hated me so
           much that she wouldn't even leave me a piece of dirt.  It like she was never there!
        - In short, I didn't want our marriage to end.God miraculously saved our marriage - but that's                     subject for another study.
        - God had sent me a message. Stop it!!!  Some people need a little coercion, a little threat,
             I needed a 2X4 to the side of my head.  Such a wake-up call.  And through time a
                lot of healing has taken place.
        - 3 Practical
             Praying, fasting, renewing my mind where I had abandoned God.  Now I was coming back.
              It sound cliche but it was so important            
              Counseling - Weekly accountability

Biggest take-away from this -
            32 years of bondage, prison of my own making, pleading with God for relief.

        
A victimless sin

A sobering look at
Sexual Impurity and the Christian man.
Let's discuss:
Eye candy = I candy.
Internet: Friend or Foe
The Cost Impurity.
Do I love my wife... really?


Email to men
Hi men,
Just a heads-up on next Saturday's Men's breakfast (March 12th).
We're going to take critical look at sexual impurity and its effects on men in general and Christian men in particular. As always there will be a gospel moment, provided by Zac Nash followed by a short reflection on my struggles and then a sobering discussion on the subject.  Coffee and goodies will be provided.

Also, please keep Zac in your prayers.  He is going in for surgery, Tuesday, March 8th Doctors are going to insert a catheter to keep his nerves from misfiring.  He should be well enough to join us on Saturday.

Welcome

Pray

Zac - prequel - gospel moment

Caveat

Motivation (no one should have to go through what I

                     had been through

Beginning - high school - college 

13 (1971) – 45 (2003)

       32 years of bondage

Marriage

       Active in Church

Fantasy Life – Business Trip

Faced Depression, Hopelessness, Filth, Low self-worth,

       self-loathing (hating myself).

The phone call

White Funeral (Oswald Chambers

Yes, it was then, at my 'White Funeral' that I made an agreement with God)

Liberation

My marriage has been restored. Donna up, me down.

Do I Stumble?

Let's discuss:

Eye candy = I candy.

Internet: Friend or Foe

The Cost Impurity.

Do I love my wife... really?

Zac - sequel - gospel moment

Questions:
    Eye candy = I candy
       Rosaria Butterfield quoted Pastor Sam Allsberry "We are all sexual sinners".
         How much of our sexual sin stems from self-centeredness?
           My idol was porn - not only to satisfy our lusts (because that is fleeting)
                but to make heroes in our on fantasy world.

    Do I love my wife, really?
         Sure, sure, I love my wife.  I loved here as a maid, cook, sometimes talking partner,
                   driver, quiet, cause no waves and not to embarrass me.
               Do I love her as my partner, my lover and my friend?

 The cost of impurity
          I lost years of having a true and deep relationship with God, not just a superficial, needy one.
          I lost years of having a deep relationship with my wife, things I put her through that I can
                    never recover.
          I lost brain cells thinking about filth, where I could have used for better things.

     Internet Friend or Foe?
          As I said earlier, one has a problem with the Internet, get filtering software.
          How has the internet made it easy for men to wander?
          Don't think your surfing is hidden   It will be hidden 90-95% of the time, but
             you will still leave a footprint somewhere.

   

Retreat

duck creek

Friday
5pm checkin
6 - 6:20 Introduction
6:30 - 7:30  session01
8:00 - 9:00  session03
9:00 - 9:20  worship/prayer
9:30 - ?? fellowship/lights out

Saturday
6:30 - 8:00       Breakfast
8:00 - 8:55       Morning Devotion/worship
9:00 - 9:45       session04
10:00 - 10:45   session05
11:00 - 11:45   session06
12:00 - 13:00   lunch
13:01 - 17:45   free time
18:00 - 19:30   bbq/dinner
20:00 -  21:00  recap/open discusion
21:00 - Game Time >>> lights out

Sunday
6:30 - 8:00      Breakfast
8:00 - 9:00      Pack-up / leave for home

Strength in God: Nothing Can Stand Against You – Romans 8:31
The Christian Man Goes the Distance – Romans 5:3-4
Defeating Evil in Your Life: Finding Truth – Romans 12:21
Getting Serious About God: Giving All to Him – Romans 12:1-2
The Dignified Man – Romans 10:9-11

20150914_Debrief02_MensBreakfast_Finanacial

Good Things -  Great Turnout (~24 men)
                          Mark kept conversion in focus
                          Good format - tag team
                          Great gospel moment - familiar but drove the point home
                          Great addition of deacon (although somewhat unfocused)
                          Right under time limit

Not So Good Things -
                           Participation was so-so.
                              (most people are a bit intimidated to talk in such a big group.)


How was the...
           'marketing'  (announcement, flyers)
           location
           breakfast items
       

Things to Ponder...
           If there is a big group (> 20) should we break up into two smaller groups
                  then meet at the end to recap
             (people are a bit intimidated to talk in such a big group)
            Don Arrata


Next Meeting October 31
         Guy - Divorce and the Christian man.
                   What God has taught about marriage, divorce and renewed relationship with Him

Next Meeting December
          German/Zac - Sexual Impurity and the Christian man

Next year...
           Prayer
           Men's retreat

20150619_VisitToRescueMission

Friday - talked to Marcus Badgett Volunteer Coordinator.

Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner - community only 4 - 6
Dinner - all up to 28

365 days a year


There are other areas for volunteering
Teaching
One-on-One mentorship

Other opportunities to serve: Thrift store

At risk youth - will help us out to get plugged in to this area.

20150529_BreakfastMeetingTopic2

June 6th Men's Ministry Breakfast Discussion Topic -

Men, what are you scared of?

Are you afraid of losing your job? (This hits home for me.)

Do you fear getting a debilitating illness or fatal disease?

How about feeling the anxiety of not measuring up in the eyes of your spouse and children?

And how about fear of failure (will I be able to meet my goals or reach my potential?)

What do you fear as a Christian man?

Do you have trepidation about your Christian walk (are you living what you espouse)?

Have I done enough for the kingdom of God?  (Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required).

Zac's gospel moment wraps up our discussion as we consider fear as it relates to anger.

So join us for breakfast as we weigh in and examine this important subject.

We're going to talk about fear, concern, anxiety, doubt , angst,  scare, worry, uneasiness.

I've listed a few things that are meaningful to me.  I'm sure there are more things that cause us fear or anxiety.  We'll go through them and will stop at the ones that hits home for us.

Losing your job - A lot of people lose their jobs.  If you're young and unmarried then it's not so bad.  You can probably bounce back easier.  But at my age, my fear is not taking care of my family, my kids are old enough to fend for themselves, Donna and I can downsize.  It's the extra stuff.  I probably won't be as active in church as I am now.  I may not be able to do family events as before.  My stress level rises dramatically.  
How do I handle this?  Fortunately God's grace has protected me.  Since threats of layoffs are always looming, we've been more careful with discretionary spending, living lean so-to-speak.

Debilitating illness or fatal disease - Who hasn't been touch by this subject.  Do we, as men fear getting
mortally sick?  We can live better, watch what we eat.  What are the ramifications of getting cancer?
Do we ask God, why?  I've been faithful to You, why? 

Not measuring in the eyes of your spouse or children -  Are you a provider, protector, confidant to your spouse, example for your children? If you aren't meeting them, why?

Fear of Failure - have I met all my goals, in business and personal life? As we grow older our goals change, does it main failure?  e.g. I want to make a million by age 40 and retire, now I want a nice retirement nest egg for retirement.  What is it that will make me happy?

My Christian walk - A Christians, the world holds us to a higher standard.  My fear is that I tarnish the name of Christ with my actions. Oh to be called a hypocrite.  Then why should I tell people I'm a Christian, knowing they'll condemn me if a falter.  Billy Graham as quoted by Ravi Zacharias "B.G. biggest fear is that he'll do something today that will undo his 30-40 years of ministry.

Have I done enough for the kingdom of God-  Matthew 25 - Well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Am I the lazy servant who buried his treasure in the ground?  "to whom much was given, much will be required" Luke 12:48. 
On my tombstone, my epitaph "He tried to do God's will"

20150508_2ndMensBreakfastInvite

June 6th Men's Ministry Breakfast Discussion Topic -

Men, what are you scared of?

Are you afraid of losing your job? (This hits home for me.)

Do you fear getting a debilitating illness or fatal disease?

How about feeling the anxiety of not measuring up in the eyes of your spouse and children?

And how about fear of failure (will I be able to meet my goals or reach my potential?)

What do you fear as a Christian man?

Do you have trepidation about your Christian walk (are you living what you espouse)?

Have I done enough for the kingdom of God?  (Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required).

Zac's gospel moment wraps up our discussion as we consider fear as it relates to anger.

So join us for breakfast as we weigh in and examine this important subject.

20150425_ThankYouEmail

Hi guys,

Just a note of thanks for attending last Saturday's Men's Ministry breakfast.  It was so encouraging to see all the guys getting up that early in the morning. 

I thought the breakfast went well and with talking to a few of the men who attended, you thought so also.  

The next breakfast will be in June where the topic will be fear and how it relates to men in general and specifically to Christian men .

Prior to the meeting, I'll send out and agenda and thought questions for us to mull over. 

A special thanks to Mark for his continued efficacious oversight in the ministry, thanks to Josh for being our adviser and liaison to the session and 

thanks to Zac for his wonderful gospel moment that had it not been presented would have left us so incomplete.  And a great thanks to Kevin Parkinson in whose home we met. 

Collette and Kevin have opened their house to us on so many occasions and have always been so gracious.  

Thanks again for your support and please pray for the continual and effective growth of the ministry as God wills..

Soli Deo Gloria!

Your brother in Christ,

German. 

20150421_Debrief01

20150423_Debrief Meeting

Good things - Focused conversations (no tangents),
                       The gospel moment was great
                        Overall flow was right on.
                        Kept within time limit


Not so good things -
                        Ran out of coffee
                        Good turnout but could be better, we'll see



- email men after the breakfast to say thanks and look forward to seeing them at the next meeting.
  email men two weeks before to set the agenda

- funding (can we get the men to fund part of the breakfast)

- start talking about outreach - talk to Jeff Cliver and some of the other deacons.

- can we have the next meeting first week of June... Zac will be gone later part of June.

20150331_Logo and Invitation jpeg

20150319_Comm_Group_Chap01

Community Group – Week 20150320 Notes

That He gave His only Son -

           Who is Jesus - 

              If you were approached by someone and asked you who Jesus is

              what would you say?

                 It's ok to repeat someone else's answers.

                           Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and End. I will give

                               freely from the springs of the water of life.

             Savior - Do we deserve his loving-kindness.  No we are so evil that there

                           is nothing redeeming in us.

           C.S Lewis makes a great case for who Jesus is and who he is not.

               0 ------------------------------------------------------------------0

            Madman                         Great Moral Teacher                  Son of God

            Lunatic                                                                                    Lord

            Devil                                                                                        God

        

          People who say he was a great moral teacher, have no concept of 

          morality, they may have a concept of right or wrong but we are

          fallen sinners and if we don't Christ, we will always fall on the wrong

          side of morality.  That's what scary for non-believers.  That Jesus is God

          and so has the ability to judge our morality. 

           (Pharisees - harsh , woman in adultery - grace)                                      

Mormon - begotten of the Father, spirit brother of Lucifer

JW - However, we take Jesus at his word when he said: “The Father is greater than I am.”  So we do not worship Jesus, as we do not believe that he is Almighty God.

Talks about the incarnation - Jesus in the flesh

 He was not denying that He was God.  He was simply acknowledging that He was also a man; and as a man, he was subject to the laws of God so that He might redeem those who were under the law, namely, sinners (Gal. 4:4-5).

So in practice... since we defined who Jesus.

 Are we obeying what we have said.

       Is He our Lord (in everything) not just on Sunday

       Is He our Savior all the time and do we thank Him daily for his Sacrifice.

       Is He our God that we show him reverence, even in our everyday conversations when

              we utter the name of Jesus every knee shall bow on earth, heaven and under  

              the earth  if demons and angels bow to Jesus, because we're saved and redeemed does

                 absolve us from honoring Jesus.

 

That whoever believes won't perish but have life

Doctrine - 

 The Greek text says whoever believes into Him should not perish. Real belief takes us into Jesus Christ.  Real belief destroys aloofness. We stop treating him as a religious garnish to be placed on the side of life. When I believe into Christ, I stop hiding and resisting. I surrender my autonomy. I want to be really forgiven of my real sins by real Savior.

His grace received by faith and not works, relocates you deeply into His heart.

Edwards  - And has not Christ been made low enough for you and has he not suffered enough?

Culture - What matters most about you in God's sight is not the bad or good things you've done but your trust and openness to Christ versus your self-trust and defensive-ness toward Christ. We don't have to be good enough.

If Christ is so kind as to want us warts and all,

 Why do we put up facades for other people.  We want to let people see always our good side.

Why can't we accept other people warts and all?  Our sinful nature. 

What does it mean to love earnestly? (Showing or expressing sincerity or seriousness:)

    to love deeply, not superficially

    to love unconditionally, not because someone is deserving of my love

    

In the book of Ruth we studied had a Hesed love for Naomi.

Hesed - Enduring, Eternal, Undeserved Love ( I would like to add tenacious, nothing can stop me from loving you.)

We see how massive God's love really is, and so we give up our aloofness and come together to care for one another in real ways, even as God wonderfully care for us.  That is when a church starts looking like a community where God of John 3:16 dwells in power.

Prayer for needs:

   Doctrine - some of us may be hazy on our doctrine.

   Culture - In your life Does the Gospel Doctrine create a Gospel Culture in your life.

         Is your life centered around the Jesus and Hesed Love for you?

20150317_SummaryLetter

SMPC Men’s MinistrySMPC Men’s Ministry

Summary -

Three types of men that will come to the breakfast.

Funnel

             Introductory (men are inquisitive on superficial level)

             Committed - (men are thinking they want to get involved

                      and that the men's group is a worthwhile ministry)

             Volunteer - (men fully or almost all the way committed

                       and willing to join outreach)

- This ministry is sanctioned and blessed by the session.

- The gospel is has to be preached at each meeting.  And see where it leads.

- The involvement of other guys can't be coerced or forced.  

    Personal communication is the best way to invite men to join the meeting. 

- We need to bathe the ministry in prayer and be ready for where God leads it. It could be an abject 

  failure or a stunning success, either way is in accordance to God's plan.

- Each meeting has to be well thought out. 

- We are not teachers as much as facilitators or moderators.

- We(as leaders) also need to show a passion to encourage,

   lift-up and promote each man in the group.

- As we start to get involved in outreach efforts we will work alongside and under the leadership of the diaconate as they help the group identify needs of the church and community.  We need to start a dialogue with the diaconate early so when the need arises we will both ready.

Meeting time: Every two months on Saturday 8 - 9:30am

Menu: Bagels, pastries, fruits, coffee, juice, water (continental)

Where: SMPC Office. We will hold the meeting at men's houses.  Kevin Parkinson is willing to host the first meeting.  At the meeting, we will ask the men if they would like to host future meetings. Josh Cools has already volunteered his house.

8 - 8:15  Grab our breakfast items and fellowship a bit

8:15 - 8:30 - Introduction  

8:30 - 9:00 - Discussion Questions 

9:00 - 9:30 - Gospel Interpretation 2 Kings 5 

9:30 - Closing Prayer (The closing prayer can't be an afterthought. It should be an important part of the whole meeting.)

Purpose Statement:

The purpose of the ministry is two-fold.

1) To use what the church has faithfully taught us and apply these principles in our daily lives as we interact with our family and community.

2) To be an outward facing group as we become active in identifying the needs of our community and provide the assistance in meeting these needs and always integrating the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5) in our actions.

Mission Statement:

All we do for God's gracious glory, our men's group hopes to spur each man to escape his comfort zone and positively impact each other as we grow to full maturity in Jesus our Lord.

Week 1 Discussion Topic - "Who are you to the real world"

Scenario 1a-

A few people at work know that I'm a Christian.  I don't overtly profess my Christianity but I also

don't shrink when asked about it. Either you profess to be a Christian or as Pastor Tim alluded to

in his sermon about a month ago, you don't tell anyone that you're a Christian.

Do you profess yourself a Christian to your co-workers? Do you fear being marginalized or patronized for your faith?  I work with a lot of Indian Hindu's and there is a respect for each other's religion, but when I tried to inject my faith, they become defensive and guarded. 

Scenario 1b-

A few years ago, Donna gave me a cross that had the Lord's Prayer emblazoned on it. I  hung the cross prominently opposite the entrance of my cubicle, so it can be seen by people walking by or by people who stood at the entrance.  I noticed that I used the get chit-chatters or even co-workers who want to ask questions stopping by regularly, prior to the display of the cross.  After the cross was displayed, the people who talked to me, dwindled to almost nothing.  Unless it was important work related stuff, no one visited my cube. The few who talked to me talked in an almost solemn, ascetic tone.  Weeks later I placed the cross on the side wall visible but not openly.  People started stopping by again. A lot more laughing, joking banter.  Conversation became easy.  What happened? Did I do right?  Did the cross cause so much

uncomfortable sensitivity?  Was it fear that I might talk about God and religion? What "scared" them off?

 Scenario 2-

Once upon a time (maybe a year ago), I was at Walmart standing in line and I struck up a conversation with the lady in front of me.  I mentioned I liked her cross necklace and the subject turned to our faith. She said she was a devout Christian and she even handed me a business card for her church, and to come and visit her.  Very nice and uplifting lady.  Then as she was checking out, she proceeded to blast the cashier (a difference of price on an item) and she turned ugly very rapidly.

I'm very sorry to say that I didn't say a word. I was taken aback by her actions.  I said a few kind words to the cashier but not enough.  We’ve all had similar experiences, when people are professing to be

Christians but acting totally non-Christian like.  There is hypocrisy in all of us, some more than others. If an injustice is done or your faith is being maligned, do you come to its defense? Who is my neighbor?

The purported Christian lady or the cashier?

The following scenarios will be discussed in future sessions. 

Scenario 3-

There's an attractive lady that works with you.  You greet each other and that's about it.

One day she's working in the same area as you and begin a conversation, about general things.

Then at least once maybe twice a week she comes into your area and start talking about relationship issues she's having with her husband. Hmm. You, the concerned co-worker start to listen, give words of encouragement, AND you love the attention.  Wow, an attractive woman trusting you enough to talk about deep, emotional issues.  AND you start to become attracted.  What is wrong with this picture?

The rationalizing comes "Hey, I'm being kind, I'm just listening, nothing's going to happen, I have a wife and family." But as more days pass an emotional bond begins to form with the other person. What is your best course of action?  She’s coming to you for advice, right? Let's add another wrinkle.  Home-life hasn't been that pleasant.  You and your wife have been at odds lately and the kids are being more obnoxious than usual. Now what? And oh by the way, she knows you’re a Christian and trusts you to be discreet about her issues.

Scenario 4

A lot of times at work you get pulled in a conversations with a bunch of guys and a few off-color

and lewd jokes are being said. Two things happen.  One, you stay and don't say a word, you don't encourage but you don't say anything.  Two, you say something like "hey don't say things like that".

But here's what happens. Now you're branded.  You're ridiculed and feel like you've got the plague.

People start uninviting you to conversations.  It's a price you have to pay.  Everyone wants to be part of a group, to fit in.  What is the cost of your participation in the secular world?  As men, we have egos that need to be fed.  How far will we go, how high will we climb, how low will be bend to accommodate the world?  Are we men of faith always or only on Sunday or during community group or other church activities?  

Ideas for future discussion topics:

Meeting 2: Fear

Meeting 3: Money Matters
Meeting 4: What’s the harm in a little porn?  


MARKS Distillation Summary
From: mark@springmeadowschurch.org
Date: Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:45:50 -0700
Subject: Distillation of "Philosophy of Men's Ministry" at SMPC
To: germanprivera@hotmail.com; jdcools@gmail.com

Guys,

Here is my distillation of German's document.  This is what I'm putting down in writing.  If anything is missing, please let me know.

Mark 

Philosophy of Men's Ministry at SMPC

PURPOSE  (Why do we have this ministry?)

The SMPC Men's Ministry exists to help men apply what the Scriptures teach in their daily lives as they interact with family and community 

MISSION (How will we do this ministry?)

This will take the form of an outward-facing fellowship of men who become active in identifying the needs of one another and the community as they provide assistance in meeting these needs in accordance with how each man is spiritually gifted.

"All we do is for God's gracious glory. The Men's Ministry at SMPC hopes to spur on each man to escape his comfort zone to positively impact each other as we grow to full maturity in Jesus our Lord."

APPLICATION (What will this ministry look like?)

• This ministry is under the direct oversight and has the endorsement of the Session of SMPC.
  
• The gospel must be preached at each meeting.  It is up to the Holy Spirit as to where it leads.
  
• The involvement of other men cannot and should not be coerced or forced. Personal communication is the best way to invite men to join us.
  
• This ministry must be bathed in prayer.  Whether it is a failure or success, either way it is in accordance with God's plan.
  
• Men's gatherings will be facilitated and moderated discussion.  This will not be heavy-laden with teaching.
  
• The facilitators of the group need to demonstrate a passion to encourage, lift up, and promote each individual man in the ministry, one-to-one discipleship is important.
  
• Involving the diaconate as the ministry becomes involved in outreach will be an important step as the group identifies the needs of the church and the community.

20150317_Meeting Topics And Notes

Ideas for future meetings

    The problem with lust / porn
    Fear
    Money Matters
    Surrender issues - to absolute worship of Jesus Christ
    Addiction - prescription drugs/alcohol/smoking
    Arrogance vs Humility in light of Doctrine of Grace


 

Week 1 Discussion Topic - "Who are you to the real world"

Scenario 1-

A few people at work know that I'm a Christian.  I don't overtly profess my Christianity but I also

don't shrink when asked about it. Either you profess to be a Christian or as Pastor Tim alluded to

in his sermon about a month ago, you don't tell anyone that you're a Christian.

Do you profess yourself a Christian to your co-workers? Do you fear being marginalized or patronized for your faith?  I work with a lot of Indian Hindu's and there is a respect for each other's religion, but when I tried to inject my faith, they become defensive and guarded. 
A few years ago, i was given a cross that had the Lord's Prayer emblazoned on it. I have a cubicle and hung the cross prominently opposite the entrance of the cube, so it can be seen by people walking by or by people who stood at the entrance.  I noticed that I used the get chit-chatters or even co-workers who want to ask questions stopping by regularly, prior to the display of the cross.  After the cross was displayed, the people who talked to me dwindled to almost nothing.  Unless it was importantly work related no one visited my cube. The few who talked to me talked in an almost solemn tone.  Weeks later I placed the cross on the side wall visible but not openly.  People started talking to me again. A lot more laughing, joking and banter.  There was an easy conversation with them.  Did I do right? On one hand 

Scenario 2-

Once upon a time (maybe a year ago), I was at Walmart standing in line and I struck up a conversation with the lady in front of me.  I mentioned I liked her cross necklace and the subject turned to our faith. She said she was a devout Christian and she even handed me a business card for her church, and to come and visit her.  Very nice and uplifting lady.  Then as she was checking out, she proceeded to blast the cashier (a difference of price on an item) and she turned ugly very rapidly.

I'm very sorry to say that I didn't say a word. I was taken aback by her actions.  I said a few kind words to the cashier but not enough.  We’ve all had similar experiences, when people are professing to be

Christians but acting totally non-Christian like.  There is hypocrisy in all of us, some more than others. If an injustice is done or your faith is being maligned, do you come to its defense? Who is my neighbor?

The purported Christian lady or the cashier?

Scenario 3-

There's an attractive lady that works with you.  You greet each other and that's about it.

One day she's working in the same area as you and begin a conversation, about general things.

Then at least once maybe twice a week she comes into your area and start talking about relationship issues she's having with her husband. Hmm. You, the concerned co-worker start to listen, give words of encouragement, AND you love the attention.  Wow, an attractive woman trusting you enough to talk about deep, emotional issues.  AND you start to become attracted.  What is wrong with this picture?

The rationalizing comes "Hey, I'm being kind, I'm just listening, nothing's going to happen, I have a wife and family." But as more days pass an emotional bond begins to form with the other person. What is your best course of action?  She’s coming to you for advice, right? Let's add another wrinkle.  Home-life hasn't been that pleasant.  You and your wife have been at odds lately and the kids are being more obnoxious than usual. Now what? And oh by the way, she knows you’re a Christian and trusts you to be discreet about her issues.

Scenario 4

A lot of times at work you get pulled in a conversations with a bunch of guys and a few off-color

and lewd jokes are being said. Two things happen.  One, you stay and don't say a word, you don't encourage but you don't say anything.  Two, you say something like "hey don't say things like that".

But here's what happens. Now you're branded.  You're ridiculed and feel like you've got the plague.

People start uninviting you to conversations.  It's a price you have to pay.  Everyone wants to be part of a group, to fit in.  What is the cost of your participation in the secular world?  As men, we have egos that need to be fed.  How far will we go, how high will we climb, how low will be bend to accommodate the world?  Are we men of faith always or only on Sunday or during community group or other church activities?  Who are we to the real world?

      Do your co-workers/non-Christian friends/neighbors know that you are a Christian?
      Why do or don't they know?

     Do you even tout yourself as a Christian

     Have you been ashamed of being a Christian Man
     Hey we're just being guys... do we participate in inappropriate jokes

     Are we Christians always... are we Christians only on Sunday, during the week except at work.
    Are we Christians to our wives.  Ephesians 5 Be Imitators of God and walk in love as Christ loves            us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
    Are we Christians to our children. Are you so immersed in your faith that every second, you think
        about God.  Just like when you were in high school where you really liked a girl and she was               always on your mind. Or just like your wife when you finally found the one.   Fantasizing on                how you could sweep her off her feet.

There are so-called evangelical Christians who don't walk the walk and therefore marginalized
by the society.

On the other hand - there's a tendency in the Reformed faith since we are elect to be arrogant.
Are there times when you're talking to a non-believer to think "I'm redeemed and you're not
so you better listen."

  Mathew 5:16  Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven

Do you publicize yourself as a Christian

If you say you’re a Christian how do your coworkers or acquaintances relate to you.

Are you marginalized, ignored, antagonized or

Are you praised, held in high esteem or just one of the guys

Restaurant experience

A bar/lounge where women wear revealing clothes (no not Hooters).

Lot’s of my coworkers go there for lunch, but not

                       all the time.  But I never went and was hounded

                      to go (I think because they knew I was a Christian

                      and they wanted to see how I would react.)

                       They also said it had the best chicken fingers in town. Yeah right.

                 So finally, one day, I relented. I thought to myself let me be just one of the guys and I’m not a                  prude and there’s no harm.  They were so excited that I was going. Finally!

All through lunch they kept badgering me into looking at the waitress. So the guys made fun of me, told me to look at the waitress.  It wasn’t a big deal (and the food wasn’t even that good).

So now that I went, the guys kept poking fun at me. How I reacted, my look of peevishness

and blushing when she would come close.

But now I'm not invited to bars or this restaurant anymore.  They talk about going out the previous night or having lunch at a questionable place but I wasn't asked to go.  I try to engage myself in their group conversations and the clam up or they kiddingly say "you wouldn't know about these things" 

What’s wrong with being just one of the guys?

What’s wrong with getting drunk once in a while, or going to a Hooters, or going to a strip club?

        The pressure to conform is tremendous.

         How have you guys been marginalized for your faith?

         What's my next step... now how do I reach these guys?
         Where does love my neighbor fit in?

From R.C. Sproul's series : Developing Christian Character
There are some people who have ideals and standards.  And when you profess Christ certain expectations from non-Christians are brought before you and you will not live up to them.  And out comes the disappointment.  In Romans 2 "The Gentiles blaspheme God because of you."

What would have happened if I keep going with them?

What's the difference to me, can I hide my indiscretions from you? 

  

20150315_New Perspective

Funnel
             Introductory (men are inquisitive on superficial level

             Committed - (men are thinking they want to get involved
                      and that the men's group is a worthwhile ministry

             Volunteer - (men fully or almost all the way committed
                       and willing to join outreach)

The gospel is has to be preached at each meeting.  And see where it leads.
The involvement of other guys can't be coerced or forced.  We need to bathe
the ministry in prayer and be ready for where God leads it.
It could be an abject failure or a stunning success, either way is in accordance
to God's plan.

20150302_Letter to Zac

Men's Ministry

German P Rivera

8:59 AM

To: Zac Nash

Hi Zac,

It was nice talking with you last Sunday.  I tried to give you a birds-eye view on my vision of the men's group, but I sensed you had a lot more questions than I had answered. 

Basically I'd like to recap - 

My vision for the group is:

1)We are continually and faithfully being taught sound doctrine by the church which in itself is awesome, through Sunday School, Worship and Community Groups.  But I thought it would be good to devote one Saturday a month to enjoin the men to a have a meaningful discussion on how to apply these teachings in our lives.  I envision the leadership not as teachers but as facilitators.  

We select a topic, something relevant to men's issues, and create open-ended questions that will spur the men to dialogue about the subject.  We're there to police the conversation, praise where praise is needed but play devil's advocate when required. Hopefully at the end of the meeting we'll come up with a few meaningful application points we can take with us. 

2) As a men's group, we really don't have a finger on the pulse of your local community. We do have our diaconate that offer help and individually we contribute our talents and assist in many worthwhile ministries but as a men's group we corporately don't have a consistent outreach. We would like to see the group be more receptive and helpful in ameliorating the needs of our community.

Logistically:

One Saturday a month.

Meeting 8-9:30 with Continental breakfast (bagels, fruit, pastries, coffee, juice)

Here are examples of topics I came up with that I think are relevant to men (by no means complete.)

     "Who are you to the outside world"

    Fear

    Money Matters

    Surrender issues - to absolute worship of Jesus Christ

    Addiction - prescription drugs/alcohol/smoking,etc.

    The problem with lust / porn

    Arrogance vs Humility in light of Doctrine of Grace

Sorry for the wordiness of this email but I wanted to share my vision and heart for this ministry.

Please, what I've just laid out is not set in stone and they are just my thoughts (I have a few more concepts but we can talk about them when we meet.) But I do think we need to be consistent in supporting the men in our body and one of the ways is through a men's group, but a men's group that just doesn't mouth the words "iron sharpens iron", but actually see sparks fly.

Here’s what I come up with as the group's purpose and mission statements…

Purpose Statement:

The purpose of the ministry is two-fold.

1)To use what the church has faithfully taught us and apply these principles in our daily lives as we interact with our family and community.

2) To be an outward facing group as we become active in identifying the needs of our community and provide the assistance in meeting these needs and always integrating the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5) in our actions.

Mission Statement:

All we do for God's gracious glory, our men's group hopes to spur each man to escape his comfort zone and positively impact each other as we grow to full maturity in Jesus our Lord.

So Zac, what do you think? I know that you are a pastor and have been in the ministry a long time.  I have lead a few small groups and have been a part of numerous men’s groups.  I really need a "partner in crime" in this endeavor and would deeply appreciate your oversight and mentorship (just to make sure my motives are not my own and we're following God’s will and plan.)

It's a great responsibility and I believe will humbly make us crave God's grace all the more.  So, I do look forward to talking and getting your ideas and input. Have a great rest of the week (even though your very busy:)  

Soli Deo Gloria,

German.